Now that we’ve been married for almost 2 months (wow!) after dating for 4 1/2 years, and living together for almost 2 weeks, I get asked a lot how things are going. It’s pretty easy to see if people are asking off-handedly or if they are asking because they care.
So there are two answers. “Just fine!” for the first people.
“It’s an adjustment!” for the second people.
I have 3 kids. Hufflepuff (15 1/2) is a pretty stereotypical teenage girl. She’s loud, has a bunch of friends, talks on the phone all the time, is sarcastic and loves a good eye roll and dramatic hair flip, and it’s all about her.
Gryffindor (13 1/2) is in her own world (really), and can either be quiet and easy to have around or she’s loud and baiting her sisters. There’s not a lot of in-between for her. She takes some getting used to as she has some, um, quirks. She might be a bit phobic about some things. Or just odd.
Ravenclaw (10 1/2) is a pretty stereotypical 4th grade girl. Everything is about her friends. She’s loud, a bit whiny, loves pretty things, and wants everything immediately. She’s obsessed with TV and screen time (ugh) and is really happiest when she either has a friend over or is watching TV. She has friends over a lot.
None of them are quiet. Well, except Gryffindor sometimes. None of them are easy. And they’re used to having a bustling house with lots of chaos.
It’s an adjustment
I married the bestest guy ever. I love The Chosen One more than I could’ve imagined. It’s clear he has to deal with a lot of my baggage (i.e.: me constantly apologizing for being sick, expecting bad treatment for things, etc), and he’s really good natured about it. And he loves the girls. Absolutely. He had really been upset at all he was missing out on before we moved in together. He loves spending time with them and doing stuff.
But, I also married an only child. Not only that, but an only child who had lived alone for decades.
So, it’s an adjustment. We’re used to sharing everything. He’s not. We’re used to chaos, loudness, and a certain level of crazy. He’s not. The weeks we’ve spent together on vacation together are very different from the day-to-day of getting everyone to school, church, work, and activities.
It’s an adjustment.
It’ll all be ok. But there’s a lot to get used to. And compromise. From all of us. There are things we’ll all have to accept in each other. But it’s all worth it. Because we’re a family. And no matter what we’re in this together.
But it’s still an adjustment.