Some days you wish there was a reset button

Today went well at work. I came home feeling really blah. The Chosen One was working from home, but I just laid down on the bed and read. Gryffindor and Hufflepuff were doing their own thing, and Ravenclaw was off with my mom.

I rested and did nothing productive at all for a couple hours, and then Ravenclaw came home. That didn’t make me any more productive, though. I did get up around 5 thinking I was going to go to the Temple with my friend SB at 6. Sadly, the general blah-feeling was not improved by standing up. Instead I had a migraine pop in. Yay. I had been feeling one sneaking around on the outsides of my brain, but I hadn’t felt it start throbbing until I stood up.

So, I took my meds, crawled back under the covers, cancelled my plans for the night, begged Gryffindor to make me popcorn (the only thing that sounded appealing at all), and went to sleep. I’m writing this after waking up briefly. The Chosen One and Hufflepuff are watching a movie together downstairs, and I’m going back to sleep. Here’s hoping tomorrow is better.


The one in which a good night turns bad

So, my father and step-mother came over to “picnic” and bring us food from a new restaurant in town. It’s a Vietnamese restaurant with almost a completely gluten-free menu. If you’re local it’s called Soall Bistro.

It was delicious. Seriously. I want to eat the lemongrass shrimp all the time. And all of the girls finished all of their food. I was mightily impressed – usually Gryffindor is picky about Asian food, but she loved her lemongrass tofu. And Ravenclaw’s ribs looked divine. The Chosen One was kinda screwed by getting just some chicken since he didn’t get rice or vermicelli with his food, but that was really the only negative about the food.

Unfortunately my kids then acted like crazy obnoxious brats. They were laying down on each other, punching each other, sitting in my lap and acting exhausted… it was seriously annoying in a major way. I am completely fed up with this. I have laid down the law – first punching and you lose all electronics for an hour. Second incident you lose them for the rest of the day. I need them to be able to behave. They’re 10, 13, and 15, and they should be able to interact with humanity without going insane. Ugh! This has gotten worse and worse over the past few weeks, and now I’m mortified. :(

The day before this was good, Ravenclaw had her audition, which seemed to go well, and then she brought two friends home. They had fun talking about anime. Yay. Gryffindor hung out with herself and Hufflepuff locked herself in her room with her Skype friends.

Right now I’m fed up with everyone, so I should go to sleep and pray that the night of sleep grants me an attitude adjustment.


A Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

I think I’ll move to Australia.

50 points to your house if you get that reference.

Today didn’t go well. Nothing seemed to work out right. I got a flat tire on the way to church, and because I hadn’t gotten my spare tire fixed, we had to tow it to the tire place. Which isn’t open on Sundays. So we missed church. And The Chosen One had to come rescue us. Which put a wrench in his plans.

And now tomorrow morning he has to drive the girls to school and me to the tire place. Not in his plans at all. And I know how important his routines are to him. And I wrecked them. For two days.

Then every conversation went to hell. And I spent far too much time angry or crying. Nothing went right.

I had wanted to have the whole family watch Frozen together, and even that didn’t work out right. :( The computer and the TV wouldn’t talk to each other properly and we hadn’t gotten the DVD yet.

Ugh.

I feel like I ruined everyone’s day. Over and over and over again. I couldn’t get a good grip on anything, I kept feeling like I was under attack, even when things weren’t meant that way. I know I have baggage, but usually I can keep it under check, but today that went kablooie.

I really want a do-over. So much. But I guess all I can do is hope that tomorrow will be better. Of course, any day that starts in the tire place is bound to be awesome. Ugh.

I’m going to go turn on the fan, because I know The Chosen One sleeps better that way, then roll over and finish the cry that has felt stuck in my throat since dinner, and go to sleep. I really, really didn’t like today. And I don’t like feeling like this. I have this feeling that The Chosen One wishes he wasn’t stuck with us. And I hate that. I hate that I’m the biggest part of the reason he’s feeling that way.

I know I can’t control other people’s feelings, but that doesn’t help me when I’ve disappointed people and pissed them off. I hate doing that.

Ugh.

This was quite the fun post. But it is a good picture of how I’m feeling today.

I really wish we had gotten to church. At least that would’ve been something good to come of the day. Bah.


The apathy is strong in this one

I didn’t want to get up this morning. At all. I felt horrible. But, I was teaching, so I got up anyhow. It was fine. Except that I dozed off in Sacrament meeting and then again in Primary. Yeesh.

We were supposed to go to two church meetings tonight, but I was too tired. It really wasn’t safe for me to drive into Boston when I am that tired.

I did meet the people to take away the loft bed and the table, so there was success there.

Otherwise I took meds and slept for much of the day. I felt wretched and couldn’t motivate myself.

After 4 I felt a little better and we were able to move some furniture upstairs. I’m hoping to put some of my clothes into the dresser tomorrow. That would be useful. Much better than in piles in boxes.

Ravenclaw and Gryffindor got a lot of their stuff put away and boxes emptied, too, which is very good. They wasted a fair amount of the day watching TV, but that was when I was feeling horrible, so I can’t really complain.

Here’s hoping tomorrow is a better day! Blerg.

On the plus side, even crummy days are better now. The Chosen One was an adult in charge when I was passed out. It was really helpful to know I didn’t have to worry.

Tip for the day – regular gluten-free Annie’s mac & cheese is yummy. The instant microwavable type, tho? NASTY.


exhaustion and annoyance

I’m exhausted. I was pretty useless at work today, I took longer than usual to get anything done because I was just so spacey. Bah.

After work/school Hufflepuff and I went to Bed Bath and Beyond to get her comforter. And they were sold out. She is pissed off. I’ll have to order it online tomorrow. Bah.

I did get to The Container Store, and got some great organization stuff for my bento stuff and the kitchen. That made me very happy. And we snacked on some nuts rather than Sonic.

The crummy part is that my throat hurts and I’m exhausted. I’m planning to go to the Temple tomorrow, but if I feel horrible I’m going to cancel. Which will make me feel guilty and horrible. Bah.

I’ve been annoyed all day at everyone, and really tired, but The Chosen One had real problems, and I couldn’t be a brat, so I just shut up.

And now to get some sleep. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

 


I want to move tomorrow

Seriously. The work has been done in the house. I just want to paint, buy some furniture, and move already. I need more space. The oldest is being annoying, and now I’ll never get a break from her because she’s pissed off my parents and isn’t speaking to them or her father. I need her to have her own room and I need to have enough space for everyone to have their own space. I also, oddly enough, actually want to live with my husband! I want to see him more often than I am now. I’m getting tired of this.

For now I’m reading while listening to instrumental music and cleaning/organizing while listening to podcasts. She has a loud voice. It travels.

Oh, and I’m selfish because I won’t drive her to a mall in Boston. So not happening. We have things to do this weekend. And the following weekend.

I’m blurting this all here because I don’t want to yell at her. I know she’s just being 15. I know that it’s normal for it to all be about her. I know that this is normal teen-ness. I know that she isn’t trying to be a twit. I know that this is just annoying to me because I’ve had a bad week for my pain and because I’m put in the place of defending her even though the same actions that annoyed my parents annoy me. I don’t like that. However, I dislike their reactions much more than I dislike her actions. They went over the top nuts at her and I can’t deal with that any more. I need to be out of the house they own. I need them not to have anything to hold over me any more.

I want to move. Now. I just don’t want to pack everything. As annoying as it was to sort out after we unpacked, it was lovely to have movers pack my whole house when I had toddlers. That won’t happen, though, so I’ll get started on packing and purging and moving the stuff from the basement so we can get into the new house.

And I’ll learn how to paint. It’s a good skill to have. And I’ll be grateful that church folks will want to help us move.


Anger and Joy

ConversationToday had some highs and lows. And a boatload of snow. We didn’t have a snow day, but after school activities were cancelled due to the snow. My mom awesomely saved me by picking up my kids so I could finish working. Gryffindor was home because the private school had a snow day, which we found out on our way there. Whoops!

Today’s #cy365 prompt was conversation, so I tipped over our conversation hearts and took a picture of it. I liked the pic.

Work was work. No big stories there. But it was my full day. I stupidly wore flats rather than boots and ended up with very wet and cold feet after clearing off my car. Thankfully the big snow stopped at 3, and I left at 4:30.

photo 2I got home to find Hufflepuff playing Minecraft and having a Skype call with her friends. And the front steps and sidewalk weren’t shoveled. So I shipped her off to shovel while I tried to unfreeze my feet. I’ll admit that I came home feeling very irritable, but finding her sitting wasting time made me angry. She should’ve shoveled the steps before I came home (her sisters went with their dad early).

My book club debated having the meeting tonight or not because of the snow, but we ended up having it. It was lovely – it was 4 of us for a couple hours, and then a 5th person came. A lively discussion about a wonderful book, The Night Circus, which was wonderful. Highly recommended.

photo 3At the end of book club they presented me with this basket as a wedding gift! It was wonderful! Definitely a Harry Potter theme, for some odd reason, plus chocolate from my favorite chocolate place! They seriously know me! It’s so incredibly sweet! Love my book club – it’s the bestest book club ever, and I’m so glad I was able to get there tonight!

And then I got a call on my way home from Ravenclaw asking when I would be home (she and Gryffindor had been with their dad until 9pm). And that’s when I found out that the ONE THING I asked Hufflepuff to do she neglected to do. I asked her to have her sisters get into their jammies and get in bed to read. Did she do that? Nope. They were watching TV until after 10pm!  Grrrr! She had the gall to be asleep when I got home, but her younger sisters were not at all. So I woke her up to speak sharply to her. I’m incredibly disappointed. And it really makes me not want to do nice things for her. She’s going to Maine to ski tomorrow, and I’m supposed to get her long johns, warm socks, and warm gloves. So not what I want to be doing tomorrow after tonight. Bah.

Finally, to leave on a high note, I’ll leave you with Gryffindor’s homework assignment – she had to write a poem about the Holocaust. She chose free verse. A limerick or haiku would probably be inappropriate.

DESTINY

The young,

The old,

Scraps of who they were,

About to die.

Our demise draws nearer,

Our destiny is claimed.

Just another shoe in the mountains.

 

 

 


I’m tired

I think that the blood pressure medicine I’m taking for the migraine is causing me to be more tired. (And possibly more agitated according to Gryffindor, who is reading this over my shoulder as I type). I’m having a hard time waking up after a long time of having no problem waking up at 6:15. And if anything I’m going to bed earlier.

I’m also a bit grouchy. Possibly because I’m tired (and longing for naps all day long), possibly because I’d really prefer to spend time with my husband now that I have one, and possibly because the girls are bickering and pushing each other’s buttons constantly.

On the plus side, we’re all singing the Frozen soundtrack. We really love those songs! Beautiful. I’ve been an Idina Menzel fan since the Wicked soundtrack first came out, and she does an amazing job in Frozen. Seriously, if you haven’t seen Frozen you should go. You could bring my kids, they’d all like to see it again. Me too. Or just buy the video. It comes out soon!

I’m worried about my friend M. She’s sick and not taking good care of herself. I haven’t seen her in far too long. :(

In other news I’m tired of supervising homework. Seriously. Gryffindor is annoying me with her homework. Grrrr… My head hurts and I want to go to sleep.

I totally get honeymoons now. That would’ve been nice.


Today was frustrating

Pipe

I met the guy from the water department at the house this morning, and they tried to find the cut off valve. They failed. We came back later and tried to turn off the water inside the house, for the reason you see at your left – the pipes are frozen. I saw several cracked pipes, and that’s just in the basement. It’s upsetting, anger-inducing, frustrating, and makes me want to cry. It changes all of our plans. Ugh.

Thankfully the meetings with the roofer and the electrician went much better. And the water department guy was very nice. And our plumbers are totally competent and good. It’s the plumber who “winterized” the house that was incompetent. Grr.

PonyIn other news it’s Chinese New Year, and it’s now the year of the horse. My cy365 prompt was horse. Of course, we don’t have any horses at the house, but we do have lots of ponies. I decided that was close enough and took a cute pic of Gryffindor (in a Gryffindor sweatshirt even) cuddled up with her My Little Pony brought by Santa, Pinkie Pie.

I did manage to get to work today, despite Ravenclaw being sick. My mom was awesome and hung out with her. They had a very laid back day – Ravenclaw read for 3 hours! And then they watched a movie. Very cool. I got to run a few errands and then had time to talk to the water guy before picking her up. My mom rocks.

I had a lovely time going to the Temple with my friend S. And now I’m hanging out with The Chosen One discussing roof choices, plumbers, and all the decisions we have to make for the house. I’m feeling incredibly overwhelmed and can’t think of any more decisions. Ack! I do think the headache is causing me to not function quite at my normal level. Plus the med we took away (it can be a cause of headaches) might have helped my ability to cope. The headache has been threatening to peak all afternoon, and I haven’t quite caved on the rescue meds. I just want to go to sleep and wake up not worried about anything. I don’t think that’s possible, though. Gah.

It’s worth a shot. Time for sleep and to attack problems fresh in the morning.